Random Musings #46: Wish I Were Younger?

Prabhakar Kesavan
4 min readJul 30, 2022


She turned and looked back. More than a couple of times. She was in the row immediately before ours, a little to the right, with, presumably, her husband beside her.

She was quite likely bemused though she didn't let it show.

I carried on, regardless. Dancing, that is. While still seated and, so, just swaying from the hip and above and waving my arms about! To some nice peppy beats that the Salim-Sulaiman sibling duo and their troupe were belting out at the Coca-Cola Arena.

To our left, with a couple of empty seats in-between, was another couple. Youngish — late twenties to early-thirties was my guess. The girl/lady clearly knew her songs as well as moves. She would look good on a dance floor, I couldn’t help but think.

Now…I am neither a dancer nor young(ish)!

Remaining seated helped my dancing though — I was, hopefully, only half as bad as I would have been otherwise i.e., had I been on my feet!

Bald with whatever remains of my hair white, my age, surely, would have been quite easy to guess! (Though a new work acquaintance did make my day recently saying that he thought that I was 45!)

So, no surprise then that the lady in the front seat turned around to look at me. More than once. Clearly, wondering why this old non-dancer was making a fool of himself!

Or, am I short changing myself, like I am wont to?

Maybe the lady was just observing me out of curiosity and nothing more. Observing me enjoying the music and (non-)dancing, with gay abandon! Despite my, or rather — even at my age.

A few days later we are at a university — this time with very young people. Graduating from their bachelor studies. About to start on their adult lives, having enjoyed the three years of university, albeit pandemic impacted, away from the prying eyes and earshot of parents. They are smart enough though and have ensured reasonable to good grades.

My wish and prayer for our younger girl and all of them — well done, do make this count and make the most of life, in every sense.

It was also interesting to catch up with other parents — similar while different but the same when it came to looking back and ahead in life. Health and fitness at varying levels, making me resolve silently to continue to do what I do right and moderate more what I like to do but should do less of i.e., eat and unwin(e)d!

Spending time recently with younger people — at work, at play and the girls’ friends — has made me think.

Do I wish that I were younger? Do I wish that I could go back to my youth and live it again? Do I wish that I knew then what I know now?

The answer, surprisingly even for myself, in my head is a very clear and firm no!

I realize that I actually like and am very comfortable with my age and stage in life! And that I would rather be here and now than anywhere and anytime else.

Life’s been a journey and the journey continues. The journey has seen ups and downs, twists and turns and will surely see more of these before the inevitable end. Would I rather have not faced any of these? Hmm, no again — as otherwise I wouldn’t be me and here, would I!

Reflection tells me that I am happy about where the journey has brought me to. I am happy with where I am and am equally happy and ready for wherever the journey will take me from here.

And I also realize one other thing. That I am actually young. Or at least — younger.

Younger than who, you may wonder. Like King Khan famously says, the comparison is only with myself!

Yes, I am younger than myself.

Arguably, younger than my age. But for sure, I am younger than…I will be tomorrow!

And, so — I will celebrate my youth. Today!

And tomorrow. For, I will be younger tomorrow than I will be the day after.

And the day after day after and the day after that.

For, I will be younger forever…

pic credit matthewfray.com



Prabhakar Kesavan

Aspiring to make and leave an impact…